When I was half way through my maternity leave with only six weeks left I started pumping once a day to store milk up for when I went back to work. I did not want to give Bridget a bottle once a day because I hate pumping and wanted to save the milk. Bridget probably had a whopping total of fifteen bottles before I went back to work. She did not love them but did alright with it if she was hungry enough. Jo had less bottles then Bridget did before I left her to return back to work and did just fine at the sitters with a bottle so, I did not think it would be a problem. However, it has caused some difficulties. 
I have been feeling guilty because sometimes on nights I am away she
doesn't want to go to sleep for Ben. This afternoon I felt extra guilty
picking her up from the sitters because she was so tired, sad, and hungry. She had not slept well for Ben or for my sitter and didn't really drink well from the bottle the whole time I was away. She only drank an ounce or two instead of drinking the whole bottle. It just broke my heart seeing her like that. 
I feel like I was being selfish at the beginning and I should have pumped and given her more bottles. If only I could turn back time. Here's to hope that with more time this baby with learn to tolerate her bottle more and more. I talked to my wonderful husband about how I was feeling and he helped cheer me up a little. He told me, "Don't worry. She does fine. You are just too amazing to replicate!"Aside from this little set back I am so glad that I have been able to breastfeed my babies and am so glad for such a loving, supportive husband.
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